Sometimes It's Hard

My boys are growing so fast. *sigh* It seems lately that Nathan is just growing by leaps and bounds. My tantrum throwing toddler has morphed into a potty-trained, bike riding, big boy. And today my momma heart ached a little when I saw him ride down the BIG slide at the waterpark. He was scared at first and I really didn't think he'd do it. Mark took him to the top to slide down and I was at the bottom. Next thing I know there's my smiling boy coming down all by himself. I literally got choked up.

I know that as a mom my "job" is to train these boys to make their own way. They will always be my sons, of course, but their independence is our goal. It starts with something simple like letting them walk without holding my hand. Then there's seeing them ride off down the street on their own on a bike. And I know I'll blink and they'll be driving away in a car without us.

Even though Seth is the oldest, there is something about seeing Nathan hit these little milestones that somehow makes it bitter sweet. As Seth and even Joel have grown, developed, and matured I've enjoyed so much seeing it happen. There hasn't been a part of me really that wishes they would stay little. Perhaps something happens with the third born and thereafter. I feel it with Benjamin, too.

So although my heart bursts with pride and joy as I see these little boys of mine grow, my heart breaks a little bit, too, knowing that they won't be little much longer.